Thursday, 16 August 2012

Wanted ... Must Have GSOH, blah blah blah

I am single.

I am very bored of being single.

I use the Internet because mostly I am single.

I am now sick & tired of being single.

A friend came over last night and we got to talking about dating sites, I joined one via Facebook 3 days ago and after half an hour I was in that place where I was just going through the search results clicking 'NEXT' repeatedly, whilst in my head all I could hear was 'too short' 'too fat' 'bald' 'serial killer' not ONE guy even made me go in to a profile.
Now I'm no catch I quite understand this. Almost 40, single Mum, full time (reluctant) carer, sort of OK ish looking but let myself go of late... so I have my work cut out finding somebody anyway BUT I just don't fancy anyone anymore. 

My last relationship was over 4 years ago and I really and honestly think that was it. I have developed some type of weird barrier that prevents me from finding anything attractive about a man! Unless they are a) too young b) attached or c) gay thus making me believe my subconscious is actually trying to prevent me from having a boyfriend.
I am at that place where ALL my friends are married or in serious relationships and they often go out for meals and I'm not invited, although I am good for babysitting (which I don't mind as I like Disney films and board games) and I totally get it, I'm an odd number. I make things uneven. I may come across as a threat - not that I am; I can quite honestly say I don't find ANY of my friends partners remotely attractive!

So on that level I don't go out. Then of course I have my son and my Mum and I work at home as a carer so I also lost that social aspect of meeting people through work. 
I have no single friends with whom to mingle even when I can go out, so I am just well .... stuck.
I joined Plenty of Fish tonight and after 40 minutes mostly of which was doing the profile filling - I was already thinking of leaving. I wrote within my dislikes 'text speak' and then subsequently had 3 emails all of which asked me 'How U doin? U wanna chat? Wud b gr8' NO I bloody well wouldn't and if you had even bothered reading my profile U wudnt av w8d ur time! 

I am doomed to be a crazy cat woman!

This is not a please pity me post, I am actually asking for any ideas! So please if you can think of a way I can get back in the saddle, so to speak PLEASE let me know!

Your Lonely Lemon!